Remember the movie, Cast Away, with Tom Hanks? He was stranded on an uninhibited island for 4 years. A volleyball he named Wilson became his best friend. I never would have imagined that movie from 20 years ago would be an inspiration to modern day survival!
As we enter into our 9th week of isolation as a result of a mandated stay-at-home order initiated by the President of the United States and then carried out to varying degrees and lengths by Governors, we all are a little shattered. In Illinois we are facing at least another 1.5 weeks. Other states have “opened up.” But none have or will return to the old “normal.” Actually, we will find there will be a new “normal” to varying degrees.
What we all have encountered is a sense of isolation and loneliness. For many, it will continue for weeks, maybe months. Initially we were told to physically distance ourselves. As hard as it was, for the benefit of those who had weakened immune systems, front line workers and for our own good, we could physically distance ourselves but continue with social connections via the phone, social media, and with virtual group gatherings on platforms like Zoom. Unlike Tom Hanks who only talked to Wilson and even though he “heard” Wilson respond, we are more fortunate to have real conversations. But it is my professional opinion that most people have reached their limit of these virtual meetings and now need more.
We need to physically see each other. We also need touch. As social beings, we are not in a healthy frame of mind when we are isolated. We are now at the point where our mental health is in just as much jeopardy as is our physical health! Of course there are always extenuating circumstances and we all act and react differently. But in general, our mental health has taken a toll!
So how do we reduce the feelings of loneliness and the impact of isolation? I wish there was a magic cure, but there is not. I have a wand in my office and I share with clients that I would wave it around my own heard first if it had any real power! But the good news is that there are a few things we can do to lower the impact of isolation!
- While we may not know the length of the current stay-at-home mandate, there will be an ending. Regardless of political party or individual elected officials mandates, no one benefits from this isolation. It becomes a matter of when and how we return to living life safely. It is that very factor of the unknown that unsettles us. We tend to feel out of control when we face unknown aspects of life. We need to remind ourselves that we will see, no pun intended, an end to the isolation. Focus on the future and what you will do when this isolation is lifted!
- For those who live alone, isolation becomes more profound. I encourage people in this situation to make it a priority to reach out to at least one other person, at least once a day!
- I encourage all individuals to have a project. It might be as “simple” as a puzzle or as complicated as painting a room or a sewing or craft project. If you don’t have supplies at home, order them online. We all need to be creative! The point is to keep busy and keep your mind active and distracted.
- Start a gratitude journal. You might not feel very grateful right now, but I promise you can find things if you look. Suggestions: blooming flowers, health, friends to call, etc. Again, be creative!
- Recognize grief in what you are experiencing. We have all lost some or many aspects of our daily lives. Children are missing school including learning, dances, graduations and other significant milestones. Some have lost jobs or at least paychecks. We all have missed being out and about, whether that is shopping, going to a park, or gathering at a restaurant. There are no sporting events, professional or with children. The list goes on. Notice I did not even mention the loss of life, but of course we grieve those losses as well. It is okay to be sad, frustrated, angry or depressed. Own it! It is valid in light of what we are facing. Not only is it appropriate to mourn, that is a healthy response to a loss! Seek professional help if you feel stuck and have a loss of hope!
While I can only touch on this issues here, you are welcome to schedule a meeting with me to explore more about the specifics. Also check back at my website soon, as recorded workshops will soon be available.
May your path find you meeting and greeting others as soon as possible!