On the Sunday Morning of November 14, 2010, I was sitting on my couch reading a book. How do I remember what I was doing that day? It is embroidered into my memory because it was the day one of my best friend’s son died of an overdose.
My friend is a great mom, very involved in her kids’ lives, including being a PTO President. Her family was well respected, they lived in a nice home and seemed like the all American family. Somewhere along the way Bryan became addicted to heroin. He had overdosed once and survived. He continued using. So when I received Dorothy’s call, it did not even dawn on me that Bryan had not only overdosed again, but he did not survive. We were well into the conversation, maybe 5 minutes, until I realized he was gone. I had to ask for clarification. The tormented voice of my dear friend confirmed the worst.
Six years later, Dorothy’s life is different. Bryan’s death changed the course of her life. She is now divorced, moved from her home, works full time but greets each new day as a miracle of life. She has dedicated so much of her life now to fighting through the pangs of Bryan’s addiction, helping others cope and spreading the message of hope.
She introduced me to Mike Young. He too has suffered from a life time of addiction. His father and brother died of overdoses and Mike himself used for decades. It corrupted his life. He lied, stole, and was incarcerated numerous time. He was offered an option the last time he was arrested: prison or a drug court program. He wisely chose drug court. It was not an easy path but last night he graduated from that program. He is a changed man. That does not mean he is free and clear because the pull of addiction will always be chasing him. What he has done though is truly a miracle. He has partnered with a National organization, opening the first chapter in this state: Not One More Illinois (overdose-lost spirit-grieving heart). He offers support groups, logistical arrangements for treatment, including transportation, and speaks around the country to bring awareness to drug addiction.
I hate the cruelty of addictions. While I am a mental health counselor, I am not an addictions counselor. That said I often see clients who suffer from residual impacts of dealing with a current or past addiction within their family. Addictions are diseases. No one in their right mental capacity chooses a life of addiction. The ramifications spread through life wild fires as it is not only the addict who suffers but their family and friends as well. The stigma of this disease needs to be eradicated and be considered for what it is…a disease. No one chooses cancer, no one chooses mental health issues and no one chooses addiction.
So I dedicate this writing to Bryan Wolf and Tommy Vannerson-two people I knew personally who died because of their disease of addiction. And to Mike Young, who while working to stay clean himself, does so much to help others with this crippling disease.
May your path keep you clear of addiction!