Have you ever thought something and then had to ask yourself if you really said it out loud? Often thoughts “pop” into our mind but we would never purposely say them out loud. Other times we do say them out loud because we want to make a point or don’t want to forget what we want to say. Have you considered listening to be an “active” process?
The concept of active listening requires an adjustment to how most people operate. The common conversation involves people speaking back and forth but often with the focus on speaking and not listening. And that has been the downfall of many conversations, arguments and even relationships!
For example if you are trying to make a point in a conversation, your mind is focused on the defense of your viewpoint. Likely, we make our points and assume others will then be “enlightened.” The focus is on speaking our defense. In the meantime, the other person is making their defense, ideas, suggestions, etc, and we often miss what they are saying because we are focusing on what we want to say next, not what they are saying now. We might miss the common ground, or the new concept or even the potential of speaking about two different things. Better for both parties to “actively” listen to what each other is saying. Sounds simple, but is not as easy as it may appear. It requires us to turn our thoughts off temporarily to hear what is being said. It is an active process.
We speak to be heard. Let’s hear each other!
Along your path may your hear and be heard!