There is often a fine line between knowing when to hold on and fight, and letting go. I’m not speaking of giving up, rather a much harder path of letting go. When you let go of something you are attached to, there is an emotionally strong and compelling attachment involved. Letting go means releasing that attachment so you can move forward. Letting go frees you. But…you need a pretty strong determination to allow that attachment to float away without trying to grasp it back.
Here are some examples, I have had many clients who hold onto childhood traumas (grief, abuse, disappointments). It has altered how they view the world as adults. When they can recognize the impact that the attachment has on them and that it is a burden that they no longer need to carry, it changes their perspective. They do not have to be the person who is always responsible for everything because their mother was absent; or they do not have to be the fixer for everyone; or they can learn what a healthy relationship looks life. Those deep rooted emotions often serve us well for a time, but once we can recognize they really are more of a crutch, holding back from the fullness of current life, it is freeing.
I have a sign in my office that says “Let it go, permission granted.” The permission part can only come from within. It is frightening to give ourselves permission to go outside of the box of how we operate and function in life. Here’s the key to knowing when you need to let go: Are you stuck? Are you living to your full potential? Often you will need to dig deep and put some thought into the questions and the answers.
Finally, letting go does not mean you are weak or in denial. You are not letting go of the memories but rather the hold that they have on you and keep you stuck.
May you let go of all the unhealthy and unproductive aspects of your life as you walk along your path, permission granted!