I recently had a client write down several things that bring her joy in one column and things that currently challenger in another column. She was then to circle one item in each column that really spoke to her. We then looked at her two circled items and discussed what she had control over.
Sometimes the things we have control of are things that bring us joy. Other times they are a challenge. If our focus is to have more joy, then we should be doing more of what brings about joy in our life. Of course it is not always that easy. Here are some examples: It would bring me joy to be a few inches taller and have a longer neck. Unfortunately those both are not something within my control. I would also find being on a beach very joyful. It is in my control to save for and plan a vacation. I also find it joyful to smell candles but often forget to light them. It is in my control to light those candles more often.
The same is true in reverse. We often focus on the things that are out of our control and do not bring us joy. An example would be spending time, energy and focus on how dreary the weather is, or that my neck is short! Or on the loss of relationship, or what other people think of you.
The formula should be this:
Do more of what you have control over + that brings you joy.
Do less of what you does not bring you joy.
Wishing you a joyful path in life!