As a therapist, I work with a lot of clients who are grieving. And while I have attended many funerals over the years of being a therapist, I am now facing one that is transforming. And I am grieving.
While I often hear from friends and clients how challenging in-laws can be. Not me, I have the best and feel blessed! As I write this, the funeral plans are being made for my father-in-law. He was a great man and I felt his love for me, my children and all who where blessed to call him family and friend.
I have already experienced some of the stages of grief:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Denial was immediate, anger -check, depression-ongoing…
As I tell clients, it is not effective to try and avoid these emotions as they will come at you until you work through them. Grief is a process, one that has to be experienced and dealt with or it will keep knocking and manifest in destructive ways, if not processed! And there is no time frame. People go through these stages at varying time lengths and often bounce around between stages. And then there are triggers… One of mine is looking around my home and office at all the woodwork my very talented father in law has blessed me with.
So, to you Dad! He was a man of great love of family. Never missed an opportunity to gather with family, watch my children at sports or academic events, or give a hug. He was an avid sports fan, and as any true Cub fan, cursed them as much as he loved them. His talent at making anything out of wood is amazing- desk, end table, rocking chairs, bar, bar cabinet, wine cabinet, cutting boards in shapes of states as well as intricate patterns and so much more. He welcomed me into his family and I called him Dad.